Title: Safecracker: The Ultimate Puzzle Adventure
Platform: Wii
Released: December 2008

In an attempt to control the stress in my life I let the small things slide. Commercials promoting cleaning supplies that show only women, commercials promoting barbeque that show only black men, corporate websites that use only stock photos...

"I have to take this call. I am important."

The commercials insult my massive intelligence by referring to stereotypes that the advertising producer gambled I wouldn't recognize consciously and stock photos tell me, "The only time you will speak with hot people is if you call us."

Safecrackers' boxart subtitle is 'The Ultimate Puzzle Adventure.' Ultimate is a very strong word to use. It means the end, the farthest, the best, not to be improved upon. We all have strong feelings influenced by nostalgia and our tastes in games, but there really is no ultimate game. Most journalists holding onto their integrity will refuse to give any game a perfect score because they recognize this fact. I remember reading way back in 1999, when Tony Hawk Pro Skater first came out on the PSX, that the initial reviewer for EGM was awed to such a degree that it took three other writers and an editor to finally convince him not to rate the game at 10 out of 10.

Considering this, when I see a game that subtitles itself with hyperbole I immediately wonder what bad aspects of the game the PR department was trying to gloss over. [pause] And this is where I am supposed to say that I was pleasantly surprised and that the game actually held my attention. That the game hit some good marks, but never quite excelled and that, overall, I was satisfied with my play-through, but would only recommend the game as a rental.

See, even though I harp on cliché and over done themes I am still capable of parroting them when the occasion warrants.

Safecracker had a fair mix of ingenius puzzles that I had never seen before or were put together creatively. The game held my attention for a straight 3'27" in a single nights' play-through. There were some real mind-benders that felt very rewarding once solved and some points in the game where I had no bleedin' clue where to go and was refusing to open my map because it took too long to load. The male voice actor did an excellent job and I genuinely hope to hear his talents in more projects soon. All six of the 'endings' consisted of only short text epilogues. Overall, I was happy that I gave Safecracker a chance.

-Matthew